book two snippet again

EXPLANATION: Ciaran has a bit of a breakdown after a traumatic event. He starts doing a lot of crazy things. Drinking, drugs, etc. This doesn't actually happen to long after where I really am in writing the book but I am sick of waiting for the good stuff.

Ciaran climbed into bed with Arthur, grinning. “I’m so high”

“Ciaran what did you take?” Arthur asked, worried for his boyfriend.

“Ecstasy,” Ciaran said, gigging. “Let’s have sex.”

“I don’t think so,” Arthur said, shaking his head.

Ciaran planted a sloppy kiss upon Arthur’s lips. “I want sex.”

“I want you to see Dr. Conners,” Arthur said.

“I don’t need to see some quack,” Ciaran said, waving his arms in the air.

“Ciaran, you’re sick,” Arthur said.

“Sick of all this talking,” Ciaran said, climbing on top of Arthur.

“I love you but you have to stop,” Arthur said, looking up at Ciaran.

“I love you too,” Ciaran said, kissing Arthur. “I want to feel the world!”

“Ciaran, get off me,” Arthur insisted.

“Can you feel it?” Ciaran asked. “It’s like rays of sun. We should go for a walk. I want to see the moon.”

“Alright, we can walk,” Arthur, said.

Ciaran jumped out of the bed. “Come on!”

Arthur got out of the bed and went to his dresser. He pulled out a water bottle, going to the restroom to fill it with water for Ciaran. After this was done they made their way to the courtyard to walk. Ciaran popped a few more pills while Arthur wasn’t looking needing more of a high. They walked around the courtyard until the next set of pills kicked him. Ciaran laid on the cobblestone ground, his arms above his head; his eyes rolling in the back of his head.

“How do you feel?” Arthur asked, sitting next to him.

“Aye,” Ciaran mumbled, squirming on the ground.

“Are you going to be alright?” Arthur asked.

“I feel like…spangled,” Ciaran said, running his hands through his hair.

“Cheers but are you going to be alright?” Arthur asked.

“Mmm,” Ciaran said, feeling around the ground. “Mullered.”

“Oh, bullocks,” Arthur sighed, giving up. “Too bad we don’t have music and flashing lights.”

Ciaran smiled. “The courtyard has invisible music.”

Arthur laughed. “Does it now?”

“It’s banging in my head, rocking in my mind, blowing out the speakers,” Ciaran said, rubbing his forehead. “So loud it’s resonating.”

“I’m missing out, eh?” Arthur said, laughing harder.

“You’re guilty of being a loser without a reasonable doubt. You need to be convicted. Ladies and gentlemen, of the jury convict this man! You’re guilty on all counts. Go shoot yourself now,” Ciaran said, rubbing his eyes.

“Maybe later,” Arthur said, caressing Ciaran’s cheek.

“Mmm,” Ciaran said with pleasure. “We should get married.”

“We can’t get married,” Arthur said. “Laws prevent such things.”

book two snippet

The next morning, Marshal, who had woken up much earlier, started swearing to himself. He was loud enough that Arthur stirred awake from the noise. Marshal sat at the desk still in his pajamas, looking like he was reading. It was apparent that that very book he held in his hands was the reason for his cursing.

“What’s wrong?” Arthur asked.

“I forgot to finish reading this book,” Marshal said. “It was the summer holiday coursework.”

“Ah,” Arthur said, cuddling up to Ciaran who was still asleep.

“I’m going to fail and class hasn’t even started,” Marshal groaned.

“Ciaran has a Morning Glory,” Arthur said, stating something humorous in order to lighten the mood.

Marshal looked up from his book, snickering. “Are you serious?”

“You want me to pull off his covers and show you?” Arthur asked, chuckling.

“I’ll pass,” Marshal said, snorting. “I wonder what he is dreaming about. He looks too peaceful to be aroused.”

“I bet its wild sex and he is just a really calm sleeper,” Arthur said. “Kenneth seems to be a sound sleeper too.”

“Yeah he looks knocked out,” Marshal said, looking at Kenneth.

“I’m going to wake Ciaran,” Arthur said, smirking.

He sat up slightly, looking devious and grabbed Ciaran’s bottom. Ciaran jerked awake and looked at Arthur with bewilderment.

“You have a Morning Glory, love,” Arthur said, as he smirk grew wider.

“Grabbing my arse wouldn’t fix that,” Ciaran said, pushing Arthur.

Arthur and Marshal laughed together.

“I have the piss,” Ciaran said, getting out of bed.

“Good luck with that!” Arthur said, roaring with laughter.

Ciaran mumbled a few harsh words and went into the restroom. He came out after a few minutes and grabbed his toothbrush that he left in the dorm room.

“I don’t know why you lot are making fun of me because of it,” Ciaran said, putting toothpaste on his toothbrush.

“Because it’s funny,” Arthur said.

“You’re how old now?” Ciaran asked. “It’s not like you haven’t woken up a million times with an erection too.”

“Not today,” Arthur stated, smirking.

“I did,” Marshal said. “I just didn't announce it.”

“I bet Kenneth has one right now,” Ciaran said, pointing at Kenneth.

“Ciaran, love, relax,” Arthur said. “It was a joke.”

“You know what it means when you don’t wake up with one?” Ciaran asked. “It means your testosterone level is low.”

“What are you insinuating?” Arthur asked, glaring slightly.

“Maybe I am insinuating that you’re less of a man?” Ciaran shrugged, brushing his teeth.

“You’re a real arsehole sometimes you know that?” Arthur said, going to the restroom.

“That wasn’t very nice, Ciaran,” Marshal said.

“It wasn’t very nice to poke fun at me,” Ciaran said, spitting in the rubbish bin.

Marshal snickered. “Poke fun…”

“Don’t start,” Ciaran spat.

“Oh, bloody hell, Ciaran,” Marshal said. “All we really did was laugh.”

“I don’t like to be laughed at,” Ciaran said, sitting on his bed.

“Dually noted,” Marshal said. “Let’s change the subject. Do you know anything about Of Mice and Men?”

questions I would ask tom sturridge if I met him

1. What's your exact height?

2. What's your exact weight?

3. What's your exact birth date?

4. What brand of cigarettes do you smoke?

5. How excessively do you drink?

6. Have you ever done drugs?

7. Why were you scared to tell your worst run in with the law?

8. What's your sexual orientation?

9. Have you ever experimented with guys?

10. Why do you keep taking teenager roles?

11. What was the worst thing you've ever done when drunk?

12. How often do you see your friends now? sam, rob, etc.

13. Are you really living in notting hill and if so do you room with anyone?

14. How many relationships have you been in?

15. Who have you dated?

16. How did you feel when you were sacked from Jumper?

17. where do you think your shyness stems from?

18. Why don't you want to be known as an actor?

19. Are you a method actor?

20. Why do you think Like Minds is your worst movie?

21. Do you think you are cocky about your looks?

22. What do you find most daunting about life?

23. Have you ever experienced love?

24. When exactly did you leave school and why?

25. You hate fruit but do you like juice?

26. Are you a virgin?

27. How many times have you been to africa now?

28. Do you think you can sing?

29. How long did it take for you to relax on stage?

30. What is your opinion of friends with benefits and have you had one?

31. Have you recently checked your fan websites?

32. Have you ever googled yourself?

33. Where you ever offered the part for edward in twilight?

34. Do you read your fanmail?

35. How are your private pictures leaked?

36. Are you sensible with you money. Do you spend it on frivolous things?

37. Do you breathe out of your mouth? you have a lot of pics with your mouth open.

38. What were you like in school? Popular? outcast?

39. Were you embarrassed about the naked scene in the boat that rocked?

40. Would you consider yourself a flirt?

41. What makes your awkward around girls?

42. What's your biggest fear about fame?

WILL PROBABLY ADD MORE AS I THINK OF THEM!

another musical song

setting: Ciaran's character, Charles is sitting in his work cubicle, tapping his pen on his desk. Everyone around him starts to tap with him.

Boss: *walks over* I need you to revise these spreadsheet for me and stop tapping your pen it is annoying. *he walks off*

Ciaran: Ciaran gets up and stands on his desk, Piano starts playing

Ciaran sings: I'm not here for your demands, I'm sick of your stupid spreadsheets, It's time for me to fly free, so if you ask of me i'm already GONE.

*jumps off desk. workers around come behind him. they start to dance as song continues*

Ciaran sings: I'm ready for a new sunshine, might even go to the sea, it's better than sitting here. I'm sorry but it's time for me to just go!

*other staff members back away as Ciaran dances alone*

Ciaran sings: Money is not an issue to me, I rather be poor than here anymore, if i find a new job it will be something sweet, It might not pay the same but it's not on your demands.

Ciaran sings: I'm not here for your demands

Others: not for your demands

Ciaran sings: I'm sick of your stupid spreadsheets

Others: stupid spread sheets

Ciaran sings: I'll tear down this cubicle

Ciaran and others: and everyone will help me do this

Ciaran sings: Your cold heart is so deranged, always making us feel so down

Others: making us feel so down

Ciaran sings: and I'm sick of your personal attacks,

Ciaran and others: I hope karma catches up to you.

Ciaran sings: Money is not an issue to me, I rather be poor than here anymore, if i find a new job it will be something sweet, It might not pay the same but it's not on your demands.

ciaran and others: not on your demands

Ciaran: not on your demands. Not on your demands. not on your demands.

*ciaran starts dancing*

Ciaran and others sing: I'm not herrrrrre, for your demands! IIIIIIIIII nooottt herere, for your demands, IIIIIIIIII nooottt herere, for your demaaaaaaaaaaannndddss I'm not here for your demands.

Everyone singing and dancing, including ciaran: I'm not here for your demands, I'm sick of your stupid spreadsheets, It's time for me to fly free, so if you ask of me i'm already GONE.

*song ends, Ciaran walks off stage*

book three first song

So as i said on my twitter Ciaran walsh(book character) is going the theatre route with his A-levels. So he is going to be staring in a play. Since every book he sang one this play is a musical! Here is the first song I wrote for it.

Girl: I'm leaving you! *attempts to walk off stage*

Ciaran's part: *grabs girl by arm* You can't do this to me!

Girl: Let go Charles! *pulls away and walks off stage*

Ciaran's part: *look around audience sad and then looks down. Music starts spotlight on him the rest of the stage is in darkness

Ciaran singing: *slow and soulful*
I'm standing herrrre....feeling all alonnnne...I'm standing herrrrre....Because you broke my hearrrrrt....
*looks up at audience still singing slow and soulfully.*
You stomped on it like it meant nothing....I'm left with looveeess aggggoonnyyyy.....So i'm stannnnn-ding here....feeling all a....alone...
*turns back to audience.*
someone in darkness hands him a guitar. Music speeds up as he turns around playing guitar.
*sings uptempo*
I'm standing here, feeling all a alone, I'm standing here, because you broke my heart.
*dances while plays*
It makes me wonder if you ever loved me, I felt the vibes long before you walked out that door, so I'm standing here, feeling all alone.
*tosses guitar to someone off stage*
*raises hands in the air*
You're a wolf in sheep's clothing, like a killer in disguise.
*lowers hands int front of face and balls fists*
Now I've learned your ways.
*forcefully open fists and swings arms to his sides.*
You can't hurt me again!
*slowly turning around in circle as he sings chorus.*
so i'm standing here, feeling like a new man, I'm standing here, no longer worrying about you.
*faces audience as he continues, dance*
It makes me wonder if you ever loved me, I felt the vibes longer before you walked out that door, So i'm standing here, Feeling so confused.
*raises hands in the air*
You're a wolf in sheep's clothing, like a killer in disguise.
*lowers hands int front of face and balls fists*
Now I've learned your ways.
*forcefully open fists and swings arms to his sides.*
You can't hurt me again!
*sings so passionately he looks like he might be shouting.*
SO I'M STANDING HERE! and you know damn well! I'm standing here, HATING YOUR EVERY BEING!
*dances*
It makes me wonder if you ever loved me, I felt the vibes longer before you walked out that door, So i'm standing here, hating your every being!
*raises hands in the air*
You're a wolf in sheep's clothing, like a killer in disguise.
*lowers hands int front of face and balls fists*
Now I've learned your ways.
*forcefully open fists and swings arms to his sides.*
You can't hurt me again! hurt me agaaaaaaaainnnnn.
*music slows down. Ciaran looks down*
Soooooooo I'm standing heerrrrrre.
*music fades. end of scene*

Analyzing Like Minds by Ryan MacDonald

This is for my own entertainment purposes and boredom curer. I am neither right, nor wrong in my views on the film. I Am a writer so I have enough imagination to draw conclusions from the facts in the movie.

I love how they start out with the train. I really believe the train to be a metaphor for hell. The train leads you down the road to hell. You can see that Alex Forbes was getting pleasure out of risking his life and bending rules. He has no true moral values on the train and why should he? It was leading to hell after all. Raj, Alex's friend, was even crewing on the forbidden fruit(Apple) as if by doing so it meant nothing when we know god never wanted man to eat the forbidden apple.

The next scene was Alex in the interrogation room. I love how they pixelated him so he blends with the wall. I feel like his reality was descended upon me as he came into focus. He too finally realizes that things didn't look good. Marvin's first lines, 'you're an evil little fucker' was so perfect. He can see through Alex's innocent act and Snarky cleverness. I will get more into detail about that later. They leave you with some foreshadowing about the Order's symbol but you won't figure out why that symbol is important until later. I love when writers do that. They drop hints all around in order for the reader to think. When I saw the lighter the first time I wondered. 'What does that symbol mean?'

The placement of the rain scene also helped spark my curiosity. Why was Alex holding a guy? Who was he? 'But he had to die. It was a necessary means to an end.' Remember that line. I can better explain it once I've gotten through the rest of the movie. Also, the rain on the rain coats was what Alex heard when he thought the heavens were rejoicing for what was done.

The next scene was introducing Sally Rowe, the forensic psychologist. They show her racing in her car(that's look like shit) because i believe she was late. It really shows what kind of woman she was. Tomboy possibly? Also likes her sleep? We would never really know for certain. I love her interaction with Martin. It screams 'past relationship' from my point of view. I believe they dated in the past and had a bad fall out. Sally obviously thinks he was a bit of a pompous pig and that was before she even finds out about the case.

When sally walks into the interrogation room you can see Alex trying to remain emotionless. He was almost zombie like. He still tries to be a smart ass to her with the 'would you' line despite seeming more responsive to her, then to Martin. He starts to talk about cathars which was personal to him at that point because of what was fed to him by Nigel.(who hasn't been introduced yet)That's a sign that he was willing to open up to her but would fully let himself go. He's obviously keeping secrets but he isn't lying either. It's more like only telling parts of the story and leaving out the details he doesn't want her to know. He asks Rowe if she was religious because in my opinion he doesn't partially like the catholic church. He was religious, obviously but I don't think he agrees with organized religion. When she doesn't answer him properly you can see the anger in his eyes. He was assuming she was but he continues to explain the story. with Gestalt. 'it's not what it is, it's how you use it.' Once again he was giving sally clues without telling the entire story. He knows she was smart enough to figure it out. When she tries to dig into what he meant he snaps and insults her. He doesn't want to tell his guilt and she wants to know it.

Skipping the dinning scene because that's only really introducing Nigel Colbie and the trunk scene because that was just introducing Nigel's weird hobbies.

The next scene was Alex with his friends Josh and Raj. They are curious about Nigel and like any other new student, they are quick to insult him.(stuffed animal part) You can also see that Alex hangs out with someone who was also a bit mental(Josh) I am a bit disgusted that Josh managed to find a cockroach...Does that mean the school was dirty? It could be a symbol that the school isn't as pure as it looks. Raj found out from some boys that Nigel used to be a day-boy at St. Edwards but he had family issues so they sent him there. My conclusion with the family issues was the Mother and Father are always fighting. The father was obviously verbally abusive. I wondered if he was like this to Nigel. I wouldn't be all that surprised he was nor would I be all that surprised if Nigel was physically abused in some point in his life. His mother most likely wanted to remove her son from such an environment so she sent him to a boarding school. Nigel's obsession with all things dead was a warning sign that he isn't exactly all there in the head. It's like when a kid kills an animal. You know they have to have some problems to do such a thing. If I had a child who embalmed/dissected things I would probably send him/her to a psychologist just to make sure. It could be perfectly normal but I would want to make sure just the same. Nigel never went to one so my conclusion was he must of kept it well hidden from his parents. They probably never saw their son as anything bad. Most sociopaths are good at playing parts. They are manipulative and good at conning. They never recognize the rights of others and see their self-serving behaviors as permissible. They appear to be charming, yet are covertly hostile and domineering, seeing their victim as merely an instrument to be used. They usually Have no problem lying coolly and easily and it is almost impossible for them to be truthful on a consistent basis. They can create, and get caught up in, a complex belief about their own powers and abilities. Extremely convincing and even able to pass lie detector tests. They have a lack of Remorse, Shame, and Guilt. When they show what seems to be warmth, joy, love and compassion it is more used for an alternative motive. They get outraged by insignificant matters but remain unmoved and cold by what would upset a normal person. Since they are not genuine, neither are their promises. Not concerned about wrecking others' lives and dreams. Oblivious or indifferent to the devastation they cause. Does not accept blame themselves, but blames others, even for acts they obviously committed. Believe they are all-powerful, all-knowing, entitled to every wish, no sense of personal boundaries, and no concern for their impact on others. May state readily that their goal is to rule the world. Sound like Nigel? Well it should. It also was a bit of Alex but he was more influenced by Nigel. He was the passive partner in the gestalt partnership. Alex feeds of Nigel and in return ends up like him. That's why he was curious about him. He needs that kind of interaction. It might also explain why he became friends with Josh. Josh just wasn't anywhere near as influential as Nigel was.

When sally tries to get some personal information off of Alex AKA 'and what about you, Alex' question, he once again snaps at her. She was pushing too far. He will only tell her what he feels comfortable telling. He can still hear and feel Nigel's presence. Even If Alex claims he hates Nigel, it was obvious he values him in some ways. Sally needs to learn when to just listen and when to ask questions. when she says 'I'm asking you, Alex' she was asking for an insult. I would think she would sense the signs that he doesn't want to talk. After this Alex was just taking a piss on her. He was done telling the story at this point. She crossed the line. He does reveal the eternity line but you can see in his face that he was secretly saying 'fuck you, woman' in his head. Even so, he was relying on her intelligence to figure out everything on her own.

Ah, once again there are clues that Sally and Martin once dated in the next scene. 'We can go out for Italian for old time sake...take that as a no...' Love that line. Too bad Martin mumbles it. Skipping through Sally reading about gestalt. Nothing to point out there that isn't obvious.

Oh, man, Nigel and his bird...which is native of Australia, not England, FYI. It was also a real bird. Found that out in the DVD director's commentary. 'what is that smell?' and Nigel sighs like "Please just leave me alone..." I don't think he was in the mood for Alex's bickering at that point. He was getting his high. lol, literally and figuratively. I mean that embalming shit must give you a contact high. You can start to see that Nigel 'likes' Alex. He was obviously upset when Alex takes off.

Alex was obviously done with talking to sally and still mad at her for trying to learn about his personal life. He's just playing with his chair, and taking a piss. Got to love sociopaths tantrums. It's Alex's story(His godly true story), not hers. She must listen and not ask stupid questions. She knows nothing. She can't know anything because Alex was god and she was nothing better than gum stuck to his shoe.(Sociopath views on everyone else in the world) When Martin comes in with the evidence you can almost see fear in his eyes but he quickly brushes that off and asks to see his father. When Sally tries to leave he panics because of the fear he was actually feeling. He grabs her and in a moment of weakness he lets his emotions flow and tells her he didn't do it. Smacking Alex isn't going to help him either. He was already in a manic state, Martin was just making him even more upset. I'm not surprised he attacks the guards. Now his emotions are on high. Unlike Nigel who doesn't have any, Alex bottles his until they explode. No more zombie state for him. In the cell he was telling the truth but he was also not mentioning his guilt in all of it. It also kind of reminds me of how sociopaths put ALL the blame on one person. Alex isn't completely innocent but he isn't completely guilty either. 'can you feel that...can you feel that...he's here. he's listening, he's watching' perfect line to show even though Nigel was dead, he still influences Alex. It's like letting by Alex emotions go like that would upset Nigel. Anger him so he doesn't want have Nigel 'hear' his breakdown. I love the mind reading theory. They definitely have that connection. I wonder if Nigel can really read Alex's mind.

skipping through some more. It's introducing Alex's dad and how Alex will be working on the play. The random boys playing some sport was so unneeded too along with the random courtyard scenes scattered about.

Alex was showing his god complex again. He was defying authority and making it out like he knows more. It was also a great scene because Nigel finds out Alex has the same views as him. The shifty eye scene with Nigel always makes me smile. I don't know why. Nigel was so like "fuck me right now, Alex...I love you." Haha, sorry. I will get into the sexual tension thing later. Poor Tom Sturridge and Eddie Redmayne got so much slash videos because of this film. Nigel glares at the teacher. I can see him thinking "Oh, Hell no, you did not just kick out my gestalt partner."

Finally in the next scene Alex's father sees Nigel was mental! About time but I was pissed when he pulled the brotherhood bullocks. Come on now! I would of slapped my father back if he slapped me like that. You can see that Nigel values his privacy as Alex does later in the interrogation room. He forgot the composition book under the bug collection! Bad move, Nigel. That one was obviously more personal than the others. It's his bash notebook. What a hypocrite of him calling Alex an egocentric, megalomaniac, with delusions of Grandeur. That was Nigel in a nutshell. He probably wrote that After he finished embalming that bird because he was upset Alex too off. We also see that Alex doesn't like to have his god complex put down and being the mild sociopath he was, revenge in a twisted way was a proper solution. I think Raj was smart to back down on the revenge plot.

The chloroform scene was messed up. Alex could of put too much on the rag and damn well killed Nigel. It depresses the central nervous system and it is immediately dangerous to life/health. It also effects the liver and kidneys. Alex probably didn't think about the possibility of killing Nigel. They bring him to that Hell train too. Nothing was good about that train. When Nigel finally wakes up he was disoriented. 1. because he went to sleep in his bed and woke up on a train and 2. the chloroform probably didn't completely ware off yet. The movie really wants you to make Nigel the bad guy but I feel sorry for him. He's dizziness, fatigue and disoriented, unable to really defend himself because the chloroform hasn't worn off and Alex was shouting in his ear. He was also almost falling out of the train because he can't keep his balance. You can see how wobbly he was when Alex pulls him back into the train after Josh drops the firecracker. Nigel just wants to leave and I almost think it would of ended there was Alex didn't push him against the wall. Spitting on his face was nothing compared to what you did to him, Alex. You just opened up a can of worms by punching him. Letting Josh die was messed up but you don't mess with a remorseless sociopath like Nigel. You can see it in Nigel's eyes that he didn't care about what he just did. It's emotionless. When I first saw the film I thought Alex was going to talk about Nigel's emotionless eyes when he said 'his eyes.' He ends up talking about Josh's eyes. I agree with Alex letting Nigel get too close. Putting two sociopaths so close together isn't good.

skipping. You see that Alex's dad can't see the evil in his son, etc. Then Martin trying to light an old flame like a fool, lol. The funeral where I think Nigel had some kind of nerve showing up to. Alex, going to their hangout spot, and lastly Alex missing his gestalt partner because Nigel was moved to another room. That brings up a question. Did Nigel continue to dissect animals in his new dorm or did he stop that? hmmm. James Joyce, great add in. The classroom scene really explains what gestalt can do to a person. Alex, working on the play. Sees hot girl. Watches hot girl practice play and lastly Nigel deciding to fuck with Alex's mind some more. You are not sorry about Josh's death and you don't give a damn where he was right now. The Easter bunny is more believable than you are. You can see the sexual tension rise in this scene though. Most gestalt partners were married couples, man/woman relationships or gay relationships. The director wanted that sexual tension in there but in the DVD commentary he said that Nigel was Asexual and Alex was straight. I don't think Nigel has the ability to truly love. He doesn't understand it and that was why he twists it later in the movie.

the hand scene(Josh's)...and then Alex saying she had no way of knowing he was telling the truth. He was but not all the truth. The dorm scene when Nigel gave him the paper was some more gestalt mind connection things. I can see why Alex felt so useless when he copied Nigel's notes. The person who killed his friend was actually better than me in school and he let himself give into Nigel's temptation. The next scene has more sexual tension. I don't think Nigel knew how weird it was to come to Alex's dorm in the dead of night, sit in Alex's bed, whisper in his ear and then touch his arm.

AND THEN THE DAMN TRAIN! You would think Alex would avoid that thing by now. I think its wicked cute that Nigel was like a small school boy bringing his new friend on an adventure to see his "secret spot."

"you having fun?" oh man, nothing else needs to be said about that.

The dog scene was great because it showed nigel isn't all evil with animals. You can tell how excited Nigel was to show Alex his secret hiding spot under his parent's house. It's almost like innocence but we all know he isn't innocent. I just think he isn't used to having friends or sharing things. In the basement you get a glimpse about how his father was like. I wonder how often he takes out that gun was Nigel knows the sound without actually seeing it? I can imagine Nigel as a young boy hiding in his room, waiting, listening for the noise of his father pulling out the shotgun as his parents fight and then he goes running to his secret place to escape.

The secret spot scene was the most complicated of them all in my mind. Alex was frighten by what he sees. It's Nigel metaphorically naked without any secrets all tucked into one cramp room. Everything Nigel has been obsessing over for years was out in the open. The crossed bones and skull represents the power of the skull from love. the future thing was talking about how they can gain respect and power like their order once had. "kings knelt before them." It reminds me a lot of Hitler for some reason. Nigel wants to dominate the world. Nigel thinks Alex and himself have been chosen for the quest of gaining power of some sort. With the skull they will have more power than without it. It's borderline thinking magic was real and that is some damn fucked up delusion. Nigel brings out the jack card to show where their destiny was written. Nigel believes Alex as the logical, planner who wouldn't necessarily kill but be unprincipled enough to go against the authority who oppressed them. I love Nigel's longing eyes as Alex looks up 'jack' In the dictionary. He needs him in a sense. Nigel was nothing more than a killer or implement for killing without Alex. He needs Alex to be the brains of the operation. Nigel was so obsessed with the disillusion that it has become real to him. I wish someone would get Nigel help. Bring him back to reality.

One cigarette down analyzing that scene, onto the next scene(without a cig. the other scene was just complicated.) Alex goes to the weird haired guy begging for help and the teacher just makes matters worse. He doesn't really give him a proper explanation and maybe even validates Alex's fears that Nigel can tap into Alex's brain unnaturally.

The next scene I think Nigel watched before coming down himself. He found Alex's maryclea. It was decided from that moment that he would help his "friend" out by killing her so he could later do the deed. Nigel also tried to help Alex understand what their destiny was with his book but Alex won't hear of any of it. Alex was frighten of the entire thing and afraid to fall into Nigel's trap/delusion.

skipping again, Alex at dinning hall, Alex missing movie, fingerprint on knife just in case Alex decides to go to the police, Alex confronting Nigel, Nigel still trying to get Alex to read the book, etc.

'ooo, I sense some hostility.' Love that line. Nigel was just fucking with him in this scene. Trying to get a reaction. 'no, jack, you did it.' I think he said that for three reasons. Nigel believes Alex was in his head so he pretty much did it. It was Alex's maryclea, not Nigel's after all, he wanted to get a reaction, and sociopaths don't put the blame on themselves. He got his reaction. A nice punch in the mouth and a bloody lip. 'feels good to vent one's anger, huh, jack?' I think he said that to show Alex isn't much different from him. 'well I'm sorry, jack but you are the one who got inside my head.' 'well get out of mine.' gestalt!! Nigel then goes on about his delusion again along with that lovely sexual tension.

We finally find out about Martin's involvement in the order! Though the lighter/symbol still hasn't been brought up. Still it helps to know he was in all this mess too even if he doesn't want to be. I love how Alex's dad tries to get Martin to let his son go just because of the brotherhood. Come on now, drop the brotherhood bullocks. It doesn't work that way.

I know Martin can see through Alex's bullocks but I wish he would be less bias. Susan was murdered by Nigel...and Nigel offed Josh in a sense. Martin just thinks he was guilty, end of story. Sally was starting to believe this now. Alex isn't helping much with the clues instead of the fact either. I'm glad Sally goes to Nigel's house even if she was skeptical. Nigel's parents would of never been found otherwise. Shows there are facts to prove what Alex was saying and she also found the murder weapon, though it would only have Alex's prints on it. This was also the time when the symbol shows up. The one on Martin's lighter matches the one in Nigel's composition book. You learn a bit about the Order as well. All good information to answer some unanswered questions.

Nigel seems so normal around his parents. It's eerie. He was putting on his good boy act for them. I think it's cute that his mother was all happy her son made a friend so easily. He must of been a bit of a loner in his day school. He calls him jack though. *shakes head* Poor Alex doesn't even correct Nigel. 'I've heard loads about you. It's lovely to meet you.' awww, Nigel talks about his "best friend" to his mummy. Nigel was looking at Alex saying non-verbally, "don't say anything foolish around my parents." The way his father looks at Nigel was sad. No love there. Alex finally reads Nigel's book and falls into the delusion. He doesn't say he does but It's obvious he did from his future actions.

When Alex's father comes to visit him you can see he was angry at him for ruining the true meaning of the order. He even cruelly brings up his mother. That was low and Nigel like. Martin gives up on the Order too because he doesn't want to be involved in the mess anymore.

I already explained the main points of Maryclea. Plus Alex explains it pretty well in the movie. I believe Alex refused at first but when he was left alone with Susan those delusions serviced and he did the deed.

The bed scene: Nigel set it all up. He made sure his mother was in her nighty before he came to her, probably doing some acting, fake tears, etc and got her to comfort him. Nigel also sent those pictures to his father. He knew his father's temper and how important the order was to him. He knew that his father would react this way. What Nigel didn't know what that his father could of very well accidentally shoot him too. I'm not to sure if the fear Nigel was presenting was real or not. It could be because he could of damn well been shot too. It's a bit weird that Alex enters the bedroom instead of running to phone the cops. I guess he wasn't thinking straight. That gun was faulty. Twice it accidentally went off. I don't think Nigel planned for his father to be shot but he was damn happy that Alex did it.

'aren't they be missed' Alex says and Nigel answers 'well as long as they don't find them for 9 months it doesn't really matter does it?' the only reason Nigel would mention the 9 months thing was because of his obsession with maryclea. Alex's reaction was priceless as well. 'You didn't' and then Nigel says 'What do you think we're here for?' That line really makes the point that he planned the entire scene so he could do the deed with his mother's corpse...if incest wasn't enough lets throw in some necrophilia. I don't blame Alex for taking off. We have to take in account that Alex was a bit fucked too. Susan and him was a big question. I think he did it and the final scene with Alex helps me believe this. When you let delusions like that consume you it can put you in an alter state of consciousness. You become a different person. That's why I think he said he didn't do it when in reality he did. Nigel knew he did too in his own twisted ways. 'I could smell you on her.' Alex also says 'it doesn't make any difference now.' That kind of makes me think it doesn't matter if he did it....or not.

The death scene. Alex was so drained from all of this. The trauma he must of endured seeing so many deaths must be awful. He just wants to die at this point. He tries to get Nigel to shoot him and goes in front of the train. I love how Nigel saves him. It shows he still needs/cares for Alex. Alex doesn't want to believe anything anymore. He tries to tell Nigel it's not real but he won't listen. Nigel believes he has gotten enough into Alex's head that if he died it would actually help rather than end the "crusade' so he kills himself. One last trauma for Alex for the road, lol. Also, as you remember, 'But he had to die. It was a necessary means to an end.' I almost believe alex wanted to power all for himself at one point so he wasn't too upset about Nigel's death. It was necessary for Nigel to die so he can do it his way.

Alex was back in his dorm 9 months later with Nigel's book which he had been updating. He also has a mysterious box just big enough to fit a skull in it. You can see in his eyes that he looks a lot like Nigel once did. He was gone, lost from the trauma, delusions, and need for power. It's almost uncanny how he was doing a lot of the same head movements as Nigel did all those months ago in front of the bird. We will never figure out how Alex will go about obtaining power with his "magical" skull and such. I do believe that he was now the implement for killing and he needs to find himself a jack, hence, boy on the train. It will probably be a never ending cycle that leads to nothing good.

Sally finally realized that Alex has evil within him and isn't all innocent. It's a shame she didn't pick up on it before they released him. She knows Alex took Susan's skull but can't really do anything about it. I wonder if Alex will go the Nigel route and get his just deserves in the end. At least get arrested for murder. He will do it if he was the implement for killing.

That's my take on the movie. hope you enjoyed it! I had fun writing it.

brighter shade

Brighter Shade
By Ryan MacDonald

(Verse one)
I wander; wander, through fields only I can see
Wishing you would take the time talk to me
The abyss you left me in, is so lonely
Painful to the point that it is bliss
Numbing my senses into silence
My body is alive but my soul is dead
Because your words pierce my like a sword
So, I drop, to my knees
And I beg at your door
Calling out so you can hear
So, I drop, to my knees
And I beg at your door
Calling out so you can hear

(Chorus)
Oh, please take the time to hear my call
Please hold me when I’m feeling small
And wipe away the mistakes I’ve made
So you can see me in a brighter shade
Oh please take the, oh please take the
Take the time to see me in a brighter shade

(Verse Two)
Oh, I try to be the man you need
A disappointment is all you see.
I can be anything; anything you need me
To be, please take the time to see this
Don’t say so long to me just yet
I will follow through
Ohhh, I’ll take
You by, the hand, holding tight
As I set you, free from your confine
We’ll fly, fly away
Then, I drop, to my knees
And I beg at your door
Calling out so you can hear
So, I drop, to my knees
And I beg at your door
Calling out so you can hear

(Chorus)
Oh, please take the time to hear my call
Please hold me when I’m feeling small
And wipe away the mistakes I’ve made
So you can see me in a brighter shade
Oh please take the, oh please take the
Take the time to see me in a brighter shade

(Bridge/ending)
Please hear me; please hear me; please hear me
Oh, please take the time to hear my call
Please hold me when I’m feeling small
And wipe away the mistakes I’ve made
So you can see me in a brighter shade
Oh please take the, oh please take the
Take the time to see me in a brighter shade
A brighter shade
You know you want to see me in a brighter shade
Mmmmm
A brighter shade